


Till I Found You

by DarknessTurnsMeOn



Category: Avengers, Bucky Barnes - Fandom, Captain America, Marvel
Genre: Cheating, F/M, Marvel Alternative Universe - Freeform, Protected Sex, marvel AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-01
Updated: 2017-10-01
Packaged: 2019-01-07 15:22:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12235539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarknessTurnsMeOn/pseuds/DarknessTurnsMeOn
Summary: A young man meets a young woman in a bridal store, it's love at first sight and they spend the afternoon together. But when he thinks he's never going to meet her again, but when he does, he must face the awful truth : she is going to marry his best friend.





	Till I Found You

**Author's Note:**

> This is a rewrite of an old story I wrote long ago.
> 
> Song of the title : Till I Found You - Joseph Salvat

 

 

I didn’t come back here for at least five years. I left everything all at once, my family, my friends because of my girlfriend’s ‘suicide’. Natasha’s family held me responsible because, I must admit that because of my PTSD, I was taking some drugs at that time in order to forget all the horrors I’ve seen with the army, yes I was an addict, but she decided by herself to take that dope, mixed with medicine and sprayed it with alcohol. She made an overdose. I was with her at that party, I took a few things myself, but when she started to abuse of everything, when I was already quite high, I tried to stop and reason her, she didn’t listen to me, and didn’t follow when I tried to drag her behind me when I wanted to leave. “Let go of me !”, she screamed. “Leave if you want to, I stay here.” before two men, twice my size threw me on the wet sidewalk. So I left, letting her there. The next day, she was found, with some other, in one of the house’s rooms. I was twenty-five and I decided to stop everything and get help for my drugs and PTSD problems.  
  
Today, after five years, I come back in New York, in the little neighborhood of Brooklyn, where I lived almost my whole life. Obviously when I say little, it’s a euphemism. If I’m back, it’s for my best friend, Steve, who’s getting married. We’re like brothers, and we know each other since childhood, long before kindergarten. We were in the army together, but if I had to quit, Steve is still on duty. I don’t know the girl he is marrying, but if he decided that she was the right one, he must really be in love with her, so she has to be amazing. The wedding is in ten months and I received my R.S.V.P when I still was in rehab one month ago. Now that I’m clean, they let me move again in my hometown. I have a new apartment in which I moved in the day I headed back in New York and unpacked my things which were in my parents’ home and started looking for a new job, but honestly I have the time for that because I still have the money of my army duty. It’s definitely time for me to build myself a new life, an easy one with simple things, a job, someone to share everything with, maybe kids, who knows.  
  
It’s been three weeks that I came back, when Steve sent me an e-mail. He’s on duty but comes back today and told me that I have to go to the shop he joined the address on the mail for me to try my best man tuxedo for at least order the good number of suits and the size. I am the last one who has to do it. So at the beginning of the afternoon, I go to the wedding shop. When I push open the door, the hostess walks immediately towards me with a huge smile, looking at me from head to toes, almost licking her lips. Some people could think that I’m used to it, but I don’t. I know that I have handsome features, I’m not blind nor stupid, but, I can’t bear to be judged just because I’m looking nice.  
  
“Good afternoon, sir. How can I help you ?”  
  
“I have a costume fitting to do.”  
  
“What name, sir ?”  
  
“Do you need mine or the name of the groom ?”, I ask, not really sure of what I’m supposed to say.  
  
“Yours would be perfect”, she answers me with a wink.  
  
“Barnes, James Barnes”, I tell her.  
  
“My coworker was waiting for you mister Barnes”, she hands me a little card with my name and Steve’s one on, her fingers touching mine intentionally and I feel my body stiffen with discomfort. “Follow me please, I’ll head you to the changing rooms.”  
  
I comply and follow her towards the shop to the changing rooms era. She tells me to sit down and that her colleague will be here in a few minutes. The shop is deserted. There is no sound. I think that I’m alone, until I see her going outside of a fitting room, my mouth falling open.  
  
No really tall, but not that short, Y/H/C hair, she’s beautiful in that long white dress which perfectly fit every curve of her body. I stare at her a little time while she’s admiring herself in full-length mirror. She puts some strands behind her ears, before putting them back at the sides of her face. She’s just perfect. She turns on herself making the helm of the dress twirl. For a brief moment, my eyes cross her beautiful Y/E/C gaze. Her eyes are not too big, nor too small. Her lashes are perfectly curved and her mouth is thin and pale pink. She’s lightly make-up. She turns again towards the mirror and looks at her reflection one more time. She smooths the dress with her little hands. I can’t take my eyes off of her, I can barely breathe. She’s a dazzling vision, and I’m under her spell. The only thing that takes me back to reality from my daydream is a question asked by the shop employee.  
  
“Sir, I said, may I help you for something ?”  
  
“Yes, yes”, I answer clearing my throat. “I’m here for a suit fitting.”  
  
“Very well, sir. I am the only one here for the fittings today. Can you please wait for me to finish with the young lady over there ?”  
  
“Yes, sure. Of… Of course”, I stammer, looking at her once again. “Take your time.”  
  
The employee puts the shoes matching the dress on her feet. I think that I’m living what we call love at first sight, me, the guy who always thought that it didn’t exist, that it was impossible, and obviously, it has to happen with a girl who’s probably getting married very soon. She turns to look at her profile.  
  
“Do you think that my fiancé will love it ?”, she asks him.  
  
“Undoubtedly, miss. He will be thrilled to see you in such a beautiful dress.”  
  
“Hum, I don’t believe you. I don’t think that your opinion is the best”, she says, scrunching her nose. “After all, you’re here and pay to sell it at any cost.”  
  
I suppress a giggle, that’s the first time I see such honesty in a future bride, that’s so unusual. She turns towards me, a smirk on her gorgeous lips, hands on her hips.  
  
“Tell me, you’re a man, and you 'know’ me”, she makes quotation marks with her fingers, “for only a few minutes, do you think that my fiancé will like that dress ?”  
  
I look at her from head to toes. She’s beautiful, the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen in my whole life.  
  
“If he doesn’t like it, that man is a moron. Anyways, if it was me, I know that I’d fancy you in that dress. You look stunning.”  
  
“Thank you”, she says, blushing, and looking in the mirror for the last time. “I’m choosing this one.”  
  
“Very good choice miss”, the seller says, before waving at the hostess, who locks the shop’s doors before walking towards us.  
  
“Follow me miss, please”, she tells the future bride, who complies without a word.  
  
She follows her towards the shop to a desk. She turns her head, offering me a bright smile that leaves me breathless. The shop employee comes to me and proposes me to enter in one of the changing rooms in order to try the suits Steve chose for me, and also for Sam his other best man. I go outside with the first one to look at myself. That thing is ugly, and its color, taupe, how could Steve even think to chose that, the result is horrible. In addition, that suit is too tight and itches me. The second one is so much better. While I’m looking at me in the mirror, the next door room opens, and she goes outside. She’s wearing a pair of blue jeans, a white t-shirt and black Converses. The seller and the hostess went out on their break during the time I was changing.  
  
“It suits you very well”, she says, with a smile.  
  
“Thank you”, I return her the smile.  
  
“Wait, there’s something wrong.”  
  
She approaches me and grabs my tie. She redoes the bow, tightens and adjusts it around my neck, putting down the shirt collar.  
  
“Now it’s better, I might even say, perfect”, she smiles again looking at the result in the mirror, and I nearly melt.  
  
I look at myself again, not to tight, not too large, grey-blue, the suit is perfect. Maybe it’s time to try something, ask her for I don’t know a drink, yes that’s it, an innocent drink and then, I go back to my sad and lonely life, and never see her again already knowing that she will haunt my dreams.  
  
“Listen”, I say looking down at her. “May I offer you a drink, in order to thank you for the tie. Just a drink nothing more. If you don’t want to, I’ll understand.”  
  
“Well, like you helped me for the dress, I’m kinda forced to accept.”  
  
“Great. I change back in my clothes, pay the suit, and we can go”, I answer her, before rushing in the fitting room.  
  
When I go outside of the cabin, I give the suit to the seller for him to note that this one fits, he hands me a receipt. I didn’t want Steve to pay the suit moreover the whole wedding thing, and he accepted.

Now that it’s done, we walk towards a little bar. I still don’t know her name, she still doesn’t know mine, but it helps to keep the mystery between us, plus, she’s going to get married, so I’ll probably never see her again, even if in barely an hour and a half, I would already like to spend my life with her.  
  
We talk about everything and nothing, except her wedding and her fiancé, around a drink. It’s only a couple of beers but it’s enough to relax us in a very subjective way. The more we drink, the more we scoot to each other on the bench seat and her hand finishes caressing my thigh up and down, her bottom lips between her teeth, her eyes meeting mine. And then, suddenly, without really knowing why or understand, she lifts a little and kisses me. Not a peck, a kiss, a real one, a passionate deep one. It takes me a few seconds before returning it, I can’t help it, I wanted to do it all the afternoon in that bloody bridal shop. Her lips move to my jaw before coming back on my mouth for another heated kiss, her hand continuing its moves on my thigh. Her lips left mine and I whimper at the loss. She draws a line of kisses from my mouth to my ear.  
  
“I want you”, she whispers, and I feel my body stiffens to those three words.  
  
I didn’t expect that plot twist. Where is the shy and blushing future bride that was fitting her dress at the beginning of the afternoon ? I sincerely don’t care, because I want it too. I pay the beers, grab her hand, and we go outside. She sticks against me as if we were a couple and I circle my arm around her shoulders, my fingers still intertwined with hers. Where could we go ? The only place I can think about is mine. I pull her to my car, she climbs on the passenger seat while I sit in front of the wheel and start the engine. I’ve never driven my car that fast. Once in front of my apartment door, I remember all the boxes inside that I didn’t have time to unpack. Before I have the time to tell her to don’t mind the mess, her lips find their way to mine and her hands press to my chest she softly asks : “What are we waiting for ?” and so I fumble for my keys in my pockets, finally finding them.  
  
I unlock the door, and we both rush inside, our hands hardly leaving each other’s body. Still glued to one to another, we reach my bedroom, when my beautiful stranger follows me without any resistance. She reaches, pulls off and throws my leather jacket on the floor, and I do the same with hers. She walks backwards until the back of her knees bump into my bed. She falls back onto the mattress and attracts me in her fall, making me lying on the top of her, my lips finding the crook of her neck, her fingers tangled in my dark locks, while mine begin to explore her body, starting by her breasts. I softly bite her collarbone, before moving up to her mouth to attach my lips to hers, my hands reaching the helm of her t-shirt at her sides and pulling it up, separating our mouths just the time to put off the fabric which lands on the carpet. My hands return to her soft skin caressing it, a few moans escape from her lips, and she takes off my shirt who joins her own on the floor. Then, both our jeans finish on the floor, letting us in our underwear. She’s beautiful, and I just want to explore her body some more. I do so few seconds later when she removes her bra, lips exploring her breasts this time, leaving open mouth kisses over both of them before taking one of her nipples in my mouth and I feel her back lifting of the bed at my action. I go further down, my lips never leaving the sweetness of her bare skin, when I reach the helm of her already wet panties, I look up to her, and she nods to encourage me to continue, so I pull it down. I hear her swallow her saliva and see her tongue liking her lips in anticipation, just before kissing my way up to her thigh to reach her pussy. Finally, when I put my mouth on it, she whimpers of content, and start to cry when my tongue touch her sensitive clit and start to leaven kitten licks on it, her fingers tangled in my hair once again to keep me in place and pulling me even closer, and I feel her body tensing under my ministrations until the moment she’s panting and reaches her orgasm. When I pull away, I look up at her after I clean my mouth with the back of my hand. She’s flush and breathe heavily.  
  
“That was…”, she says trying to catch her breath, “amazing.”  
  
“I’m not done with you yet, doll”, I reply her, getting up to take a condom in a drawer.  
  
“That’s good, because neither am I”, she smirks, while pulling on my boxers, setting me free. “That’s my turn to give you something.”  
  
She pushes me on my back and straddles my waist, using her lips on me, as I used mine on her body. She stops above my crotch and starts to move her hand up and down on my length. The sensation of her little hand on me make me jolt my hip upward, and my body stiffens when she uses her mouth, bringing her lips on a soft kiss on my tip first, before parting her lips and taking it in her mouth and then sucking it slowly and then faster, her hand still moving. It’s quickly almost too much for me, and I stop her.  
  
“Not like that, doll. I’d rather come inside of you”, I say softly.  
  
She nods and lays back on the bed, while I put the condom on my shaft before lining myself up with her. When I start to push inside on her, she attracts me down her hand on the nape of my neck making our lips meet again in another heated and passionate kiss. In one push I fill her to the hilt, and we both suppress a moan against each other’s mouth. I let her adjust to my size before she gives me a signal to move. I make love to her, more passionately that I’ve ever done to another woman, not even to Natasha, she’s intoxicating, she got me under her spell in barely a few hours. I feel her hot breath on my heated skin and her lips and nimble hands touching the parts of my body she can reach leaving chills on my skin. Each time I thrust faster, moans of pleasure escape her pretty mouth, and when I look into her Y/E/C eyes, I see a huge pleasure inside of them. My lips find hers and we share another kiss.  
  
“Let me be on top now, I wanna see you beneath me”, she pants between the kisses and moans.  
  
“Hold on tight”, I say, flipping us, my back falling on the bed without pulling off of her or breaking the touch.  
  
She pushes behind her ears her messy hair, and starts moving, first she grinds before lifting her hips up and down, slowly and then faster. My hands find hers and our fingers intertwined like they were while we were walking in the street before I sit up to capture her lips, thrusting up to meet her own moves, rubbing her clit with the skin of my lower stomach each time, making her cry in the kiss. Her hands leave mine and find a new place behind my neck while mine return to her hip helping her to ride me. Our skins are sweating, slapping against each other and I feel myself reaching my end when her walls start clenching around me. She doesn’t stop moving when her head falls back and lets a scream of deep pleasure going out her mouth. I take back her head to mine, putting her forehead against mine, our eyes wide open to look at each other in that bliss feeling, our noses bumping against each other, our mouths open mixing our breath while orgasm hit the both of us, her nails digging in the skin of my shoulders. A few seconds later, I feel myself falling back on the bed, she still on the top of me, lying of my chest, her hands on my shoulders, mine moving back and forth her back, her head in the crook of my neck, my chin reposing on the top of her head, both of us trying to catch our breath in the silence of my bedroom.  
  
“That’s… That’s… That’s the best sex I’ve ever had in my life”, she suddenly chuckles, smiling widely, breaking the silence.  
  
“Glad to know that doll. I think that’s mine too”, I answer kissing the crown of her head.  
  
She nuzzles her nose on my collarbone, letting silence wrapping us once again, before the ring of her mobile resonates in the quiet room announcing an incoming text. Pulling away from me she falls next to me on the mattress to reach her phone inside the pocket of her jeans at the foot of the bed.  
  
“Fuck, I work tonight. I totally forgot about my shift”, she hisses, crawling out of the bed.  
  
I see her reaching her clothes, put them on the bed and takes her bag to fumble inside of it and pulls out a package of baby wipes.  
  
“Those things are definitely useful in any situations ! But I have to pass at my apartment to take a shower.”, she says cleaning herself with one of the wipes.  
  
She throws the wipes in the bathroom trash, before coming back, puts on her clothes and brushes her hair with her fingers. She walks towards the bed to kiss me.  
  
“As I said, the best sex of my life”, she grins.  
  
“Will I ever see you again ?”, I ask, full of hope.  
  
“I don’t know, I’m getting married in a few months but, I’d love to”, she answers.  
  
I pull her to me and she kisses me again.  
  
“I don’t want you to go.”  
  
“Neither do I, but I have to go to my work, or I’ll get fired.”  
  
“Let them fire you and we’ll go all over the world.”  
  
“Believe me, if it was possible I would. But you seem to forget an insignificant little detail. And we barely know each other.”  
  
“Maybe, but I know one thing despite all of that, you’re the one that I want.”  
  
Her phone rings again, a call this time. She picks up and start talking to someone, saying she’ll be on her way soon, she has to pass by her home before coming to work, while she’s writing down her phone number on a piece of paper she found on my dresser. She blows me a kiss and goes out. When the door slams, I lay back, my head falls in the pillows. I have a stupid smile on my lips, I think I’m in love. I get out of bed in order to take a shower. When I’m about to head up in the bathroom, my mobile rings. It’s Steve.

“Hey jerk ! What’s up ?”  
  
“Hey punk ! Not much. You ?”  
  
“Couldn’t be better.”  
  
“You sound like a man in love, you’re screwed pal !”  
  
“You can’t even imagine ! I’m calling you to know if you want to grab some beers tonight and spend time together, like we used to. Are you up for it ?”, he asks.  
  
“Of course I am.”, I reply. “And I might have something to tell you.”  
  
“A girl ?”  
  
“Maybe.”  
  
“That’s amazing pal ! It can only be a good thing for you ! You’ll tell me everything tonight. I’m taking you around 7 !”, he says. “See ya !”  
  
“See ya !”  
  
I hang up, put my phone down and go into the bathroom. I take a long hot show, replaying the events of the afternoon, unable to think about anything but her. I know what I’ve done this afternoon is wrong, I know I shouldn’t have to ask if it was possible to see her again, she’s getting married soon and it’s wrong, but at the same time, I’ve never felt that good in a long time. When I step outside wrapping a towel around my waist to pick clothes, I suddenly remember that she left me her phone number on the dresser. A fine and round writing waits for me on the paper, just her initial and a little heart drawn next to it, her number just below. I smile to myself, staring at the paper, seeing that makes me want to win her over her fiancé and makes me wondering about why she did that, accepting an invitation to drink beers and then had mind-blowing sex with a complete stranger on the same day she was trying her wedding dress, does she really love that guy ? Is she really happy ? Does she really wants to marry him ? All those questions are jostling in my mind. I come back soon to reality, realizing that I should dress before Steve comes. I choose a red long-sleeve Henley and a pair of jeans.  
  
Less than an hour later, Steve knocks on my door. He hugs me at the second I open to him.  
  
“I’m happy to see you, Buck !”  
  
“So do I, Steve.”  
  
“I’m so glad that you accepted to come.”  
  
“You’re getting married in a few months and you’re a brother to me, there was no way I wasn’t going to come. So, where are we going ?”, I ask.  
  
“In a little club, well more like a cabaret. My girlfriend, sorry my fiancée, I still can’t get used to it, works there. She sings almost every night, and when I’m not on a mission, I sit and listen to her. I might introduce her to you very soon.”  
  
“It’s about time, you date her since what, almost six years now and I don’t even know her or her name. You can blame me though, after all it was when I denied my problems and putting you aside, but I do remember that you told me that you had met an amazing girl, I was just to busy killing me slowly to even think to ask you anything about her.”  
  
“Yes, but now, that’s the past. You’re getting to know her, and I’m sure love her tonight and while she’s on stage, you will talk to me about your mystery girl”, he says a huge smile on his face, while patting my shoulder.  
  
“By the way”, I ask him. “What’s the thing with the beard ?”  
  
I look at his usually baby face surrounded by a dirty blond beard. He hasn’t changed in all those years I didn’t see him, he still is the blond blue eyes guy I know since my childhood. Looking at Steve, I realize that I didn’t really change too, still the same dark hair, grey-blue eyes man, I just let my hair grow at neck length, and have a three-days stubble.  
  
“Well, once I came back home and I didn’t have time to shave, and my lovely other half liked it, so I keep it now !”  
  
“I didn’t even know you could grow a beard, I remember the little Stevie always complaining about his baby skin.”  
  
“It seems that that time his over”, he answers chuckling. “Come on now, let’s go, or we’re going to be late.”  
  
“Since when are we going to be late just to drink a few beers in a bar ?”  
  
“You’ll see !”, he responds grabbing my leather jacket, before pushing me outside of my apartment.  
  
We take his car, and he drives to a little place at the end of Brooklyn. When he parks the car, I look at the sign above the door, it says 'The Bar With No Name’. When we’re about to go inside, he shakes hands with the bouncer, who lets us pass before the crowd which was outside, and exchanges a few words with him, before introducing me quickly. He is really a regular here, because, when we enter, he nods to the bartender who shows him two free stools. We sit at the bar, and Steve introduces me to Clint, the man who works behind.  
  
“What can I give you pals ?”, he asks us.  
  
“Beer, as usual”, Steve answers him. “Buck ?”  
  
“A beer, that’s fine”, I tell him.  
  
Clint gives us the beers, which we start to sip, and chats a little with the both of us until the lights sieve. Steve turns around on his stool, seeming to know what was happening. When I turn around too, I spot a little stage with a 40/50’s style microphone in the middle and a piano. A few seconds later, a young woman, dressed in a white dress, with a pearl necklace, and a white headband in her blond hair walks on stage. I can’t properly see her, but Steve looks in her direction with enamored eyes, she must be his fiancée, well I’m quite sure about that because of the way he looks at her. So this was what was being his 'you will see’. She slowly reaches the microphone, putting her two hands on it, while the guy who plays the piano, presses the keys to play the first notes, and her clear and pure voice rise from her spotlighted body. She has a magnificent voice, and Steve can’t take his eyes off of her, drinking all the lyrics she’s singing. She doesn’t seem to have notice him, closing her eyes while she’s singing, living every word she’s speaking out.

  
  
_[Where’s my will ?  
  
Can I find a way ?  
  
The earth is wide  
  
And I can’t sit still  
  
A familiar sound,  
  
A familiar voice,  
  
Makes it so hard,  
  
To make a choice,  
  
I don’t know if I should stay  
  
A thousand stars  
  
You have all my world  
  
I’m bright enough  
  
To feel these cracks  
  
A familiar place,  
  
A familiar voice,  
  
Makes it so hard,  
  
To make a choice,  
  
I don’t know if I should stay  
  
I ran to you like water  
  
I threw my body in  
  
And I’ll stand up on the ocean  
  
Just to show that I’m strong, strong  
  
But what if I was wrong ?  
  
A familiar look,  
  
A familiar smile,  
  
Makes it so hard,  
  
To make a choice,  
  
I don’t know if I should stay…](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C04mewN6nJI)_

 

That’s beautiful and sad at the same time. Steve doesn’t seem to notice that, too mesmerized to focus on something else but her frame in the light white light. From where I’m sitting, I could almost say that I see a tear running from her eye down her cheek. When the song is over, she takes a breath, grabs the bottle of water near her on a stool and while she’s drinking, she discretely sweeps another tear on the corner of her eye, before recompose herself, smile, and start to sing another song, a happier this time. She sings five more songs before taking her break. She practically jumps from the stage to walk towards Steve, whom literally jumped from his stool to run to her and when he reaches her, she throws herself into his arms. He lifts and spins her around and I hear her giggle. They both look so happy, it warms my heart.  
  
“You were amazing as usual, sweetheart”, he says to her.  
  
“Thanks babe, I’m glad you liked it”, she responds.  
  
“Come on, there is someone I’d like you to meet”, he tells her, putting her down to the ground and gives her a kiss.  
  
He takes her hand and drags her where I stayed, at the bar. He holds her hand tightly. I’ve never seen Steve so happy and in love.  
  
“I’m gonna introduce you now. Babe, this is my best friend, I could even say, my brother, James Buchanan Barnes, but can call him Bucky. Buck, this is my gorgeous fiancée, Y/N.”  
  
“Wait, gimme a minute. It’s too hot underneath that. I still can’t believe that I accepted to wear that thing when Tony asked.”  
  
She turns her back to me and puts a hand in her hair to take off the blond wig and the pins holding it, and at the second she does it, I see Y/H/C hair falling on her shoulders, the same Y/H/C hair that were spread on my pillow earlier. Fuck me, that can’t be happening. I stay frozen, not able to move. When she finally faces me, that’s her, the girl from the bridal shop, the girl I slept with, that girl happens to be my best friend’s fiancée. The girl of my dreams, the girl I’m in love with, the only one I’ve been struck by love at first sight, is going to marry the man who’s a brother to me. Why does that kind of things happen to me ? She doesn’t move, nor am I, we look at each other unblinkingly, she looks as chocked as I am, yet, one of us will have to react.  
  
“Good evening, nice to meet you”, I say handing my hand for her to shake it.  
  
“Nice to meet you too, James”, she reacts taking my hand and shaking it.  
  
“Please call me Bucky”, while saying that, I have a reminder of a few hours ago, wondering what my name would have sound in her mouth if she had known it at that moment.  
  
“Bucky”, she repeats nodding, and I love the way the two syllables of my name rolls out of her pretty plump red painted lips.  
  
“I’m so glad that you already seem to be friends”, Steve says, patting my shoulder and wrapping his arm around Y/N’s waist. “That’s the most important for me, the two persons that I love the most being friends.”  
  
He has a wide grin on his lips, glad to introduce one to another, he wouldn’t be that much if he knew what happened this very afternoon. He would probably kill me for touching her that way if he knew. I look at her once again, her eyes cross mine, before she turns away, faking to take a look at Steve’s watch.  
  
“Sorry, I have to go back backstage, I have to change and sing again in a few minutes.”  
  
She leaves us, Steve pecking her lips before she walks away. I look at her making her way to the backstage of the club, swallowing my saliva, feeling a lump in my throat. Steve points me a free table just in front of the stage, and we sit there with our beers. Steve still smiles widely and once again, can’t help to stare when she comes back on stage. I look at the floor keeping me from looking at her and sip my beer. When Steve finally goes back to me, he’s still smiling and I already know what he’s going to ask me.  
  
“So, weren’t you supposed to talk about a girl to me ?”  
  
I stare at him. How am I supposed to confess that ? I can’t tell him 'oh well, she’s on that stage right now, we even made love this afternoon and it was mind-blowing and the best I ever had and all of that just after she was fitting the dress she’s suppose to marry you in, and may I had something, even if I only met her a few hours ago, I’m already madly in love’. I can’t, I simply can’t. I don’t answer, I just sip my beer again looking away.  
  
“Tell me, what about that girl ?”  
  
“Never mind, that’s nothing, finally it happens that she has someone in her life.”  
  
“I’m sorry pal”, he says. “I hope that someday you’ll have what I have now.”  
  
How can I tell him that I hope the same, but only with the beautiful angel on stage. Steve only smile, he might think that because of my problems, and Natasha’s death, I’m unable to seduce and find myself a girl, but this time it’s the cherry on the cake and I fancy my best friend’s fiancée.  
  
At the end of the night, they drive me back. Y/N is driving, Steve had completely sunk in the passenger seat during the way back. We don’t talk, she only looks at me quickly in the rear-view mirror, but returns her gaze to the road as soon as my eyes catch hers. During the night, Steve insisted, when she was on a break, that we switch our phone numbers, saying that I could keep her company while he will be away quite often until the wedding. He literally brings the wolf in the sheepfold. We both complied, but sincerely, since I know that she’s his fiancée, I don’t want to see her again until the wedding, and never again after that, just because I’m afraid to do something I could regret later. She stops in front of my building, I go out even before she has time to turn to me on the back seat. I rush out of the car and then in the hall. I hear the engine of her car start, I look outside, she’s already gone, I close again and lean against the front door, rubbing my hand on my face. I hear some footsteps in the stairs, someone is going down, I can’t stay here. I climb to my floor and meet a young woman in stilettos with her boyfriend. I recognize her, she’s my neighbor, she gives me a huge smile but I don’t smile back, my thoughts are somewhere else, somewhere they shouldn’t be, so does my heart.

I turn my key inside my lock and after kicking my shoes, I rush to my bedroom. I throw myself on the bed, head first, the same bed she was in this afternoon, the smell of her blackberry perfume is still on the sheets. Why ? Why ? Why it has to be her ? For the first time in a long while I finally fell in love again, she has to already be taken and moreover, about to get married with my best friend. I roll on my back and stare at the ceiling thinking about her, her eyes, her hair, her lips, her hands, her skin and now, her voice. Her pure, sweet, crystal and melodious voice. Everything about her drives me crazy. I have absolutely no right to love her, but, despite all, I love her. I’m ready to fight for her, but I know that I can’t, I also know that what happened this afternoon was bad, it must never happen again, but it happened, and we can’t change it, as I can’t change the fact that I’m falling for her. Sleep finish to take over me, still thinking about her.  
  
Two weeks passed. The day after he introduced us, Steve called me to tell me that he found me very nice with Y/N, and wants us to meet again to learn to know each other better. As much as I want it, I can’t, I mustn’t. Steve was there for a few days, and we often saw each other, but each time he proposed me to go to 'The Bar With No Name’, I refused. Seeing her was painful, especially when Steve was around. But I couldn’t avoid them all the time and I accepted one evening to go at a little party they were organizing. I tried to keep my eyes off of them when Steve put a hand or an arm on her, and she avoided me all night long. I just decided to take a walk, the weather is great, and since I came back, I didn’t have time to walk in Brooklyn, it’s been a while and I’m almost sure that a few things may have changed, and it’s not like I have something else to do, I need to discover my hometown and myself before looking for a new job, I have enough money from the army to live for now, being sure that I can handle all my personal problems before, starting by the fact that I’m in love with my best friend’s fiancée. When I saw the blue sky and the sun this morning, I thought I was going to have a quiet day and that’s not the case. I walk surrounded by the mid-day crowd, students or workers looking for a place to eat, what I am also doing.  
  
“James ! James !”  
  
I don’t pay attention, after all a lot of men wear the same name as mine, but my body tightens recognizing the voice who pronounce it. I continue to walk, doing as if I don’t hear her calling my name, as if she was calling someone else named James.  
  
“Bucky !”  
  
This time, I can’t pretend she’s not calling me, how many James are nicknamed Bucky ? I turn around to see Y/N standing in the middle of the crowd, despite her short size, the wind blowing in her Y/H/C locks, her Y/E/C eyes wide open. I turn away and start to walk again.  
  
“Wait !”  
  
I know she’s following me, so I try to walk faster, but, she manages to catch me. She grabs my left arm, I wince at the pain in my shoulder when she does it, makes me stop and forces me to turn to her.  
  
“We need to talk”, she firmly says.  
  
“I have nothing to tell you”, I answer her, avoiding her gaze.  
  
“Of course you have.”  
  
“Did you know ?”, I ask her, this time looking deep into her eyes.  
  
“Did I know what ?”  
  
“That Steve was my best friend.”  
  
“No. Bucky, I swear to God, that I didn’t know. Steve never showed me what you look like nor describe you to me. I never planed to cheat on Steve before I did it. And there is something else that I hadn’t plan.”  
  
“There’s only one thing I hadn’t plan, Y/N, and it was falling in love with my best friend’s fiancée.”  
  
She stares at me with round eyes, her mouth wide open.  
  
“You… You… You’re in love with me ?”, she stammers.  
  
Now, I’m the one who’s staring, and we’re having this conversation in the middle of a crowded street. The only thing I hope is that nobody that knows Steve is going to pass by, and heard what I just told her and repeats it to him. There is something I’d like to do, but I can’t. Kiss her, touch her in the middle of that street, it’s impossible.  
  
“Yes, since the moment I saw you, going outside of that fitting room, in that white dress”, I confess to her, never leaving her eyes.  
  
She faces me, her mouth still open in shock.  
  
“Look, I think we should sit and take a coffee somewhere, it’ll be easier to talk”, I propose, taking her arm and driving her in the nearest Starbucks.  
  
Once inside, I order two drinks, a coffee and a tea before we settle down on a table in the corner of the coffee shop. She stays silent, sipping a few drops of her tea, without looking at me, and then, her eyes crash into mine, one hand around the cup, the other one not moving set on the wooden table. She looks down. I put my hand on hers, she lifts it a little, and laces our fingers, our palms against each other, same as when we were in bed, and she was above me.  
  
“Tell me what’s wrong”, I say. “Is it because of what I just told you ? You know if it’s not mutual, I understand. After all, you’re going to marry Steve, and you love him.”  
  
“No, that’s not it”, she almost whispers.  
  
“Please, doll, tell me.”  
  
I stretch out my arm, and put my fingers under her chin before raising her head. I want her to look at me in the eyes, because, I’m almost sure about what she’s going to say.  
  
“You told me there was something you didn’t plan. Tell me what’s that thing that was unexpected.”  
  
“Falling in love with my fiancé’s best friend.”  
  
That’s exactly what I was thinking, but, still, it’s kinda shocking. Love always strikes where it’s not supposed to. My grip tightens on her fingers.  
  
“What are we going to do ?”, I demand.  
  
“I don’t know”, she answers, approaching her chair to mine, never leaving my hand, to finally, lean her forehead against mine.  
  
“Listen, even if we only know each other for only a few weeks, I already know that I love and want you, and only you”, I tell her, rubbing my nose against hers. “I didn’t think I could love someone again, after what happened five years ago. When someone holds you responsible for the death of their daughter, it marks you. But the thing is that I do love you, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”  
  
“Do you realize that, if I leave Steve for you, everyone will blame us for it.”  
  
“I know it, but I’m willing to take that risk if you are too. I’d like you to take a decision before the wedding, between him and me.”  
  
“I hope I’ll manage to.”  
  
“Me too. But, waiting for this, can we still see each other ?”  
  
“Yes, we can. Besides, Steve is going to be away from next Wednesday”, she says with a grin on her lips.  
  
“Awesome.”  
  
She closes her eyes before kissing me, letting me deepening the kiss while I feel her smile again.  
  
“I… love… you”, she whispers between the kisses.  
  
“I… love… you… too.”  
  
From that moment, we start to organize to spend time together. Steve is away for at least two months, more if the mission requires him, which let us almost all the time we want. Steve thinks that we became best friends, and he’s far from suspecting the truth. Before he left, Steve held a few parties with friends. We’re careful trying that no one to realize our relationship, and that’s really hard. It’s even harder to see her with Steve, seeing her smile at him, playing the perfect fiancée, when all I want is to claim her in front of everyone. The Tuesday night just before his departure, Steve invites some friends, including me, to have a last meal before he goes to his mission. Placing us across each other at the table, I manage to flush my feet to hers without nobody to take care about it, while she manages to slip her feet to my leg, repressing the need to bit my lip when I feel her soft bare feet against my clothed leg.  
  
We established some rules, no hickeys or love bites to avoid getting caught. She spends a lot of time at my apartment and brings some clothes for the sleepover nights. Acting like lovers almost all the time, except when we see someone we know, pretending to just be good friends. Almost every night she works, I go with her at 'The Bar With No Name’, I settle by the counter to be the most discrete as possible Clint serving me drinks during the night, my eyes never leaving her the whole time she’s on stage, and I realize that she chooses her songs according to her mood. One of the first nights, I hear Y/N singing that song about guilt, the guilt she feels of being with me and cheating on Steve, but not that guilty to admit that she in fact loves it. Nobody but me can understand the meaning of it.

  
  
_[Every night I go  
  
Every night I go sneaking out the door  
  
I lie a little more  
  
Baby I’m a helpless  
  
There’s something about the night  
  
And the way it hides all the things I like  
  
Little black butterflies  
  
Deep inside me  
  
What would my Mama Do (uh oh uh oh)  
  
If she knew about me and you (uh oh uh oh)  
  
What would my Daddy say (uh oh uh oh)  
  
If he saw me hurt this way (uh oh uh oh)  
  
What should I feel ashamed  
  
Feeling guilty at the mention of your name  
  
Here we are again  
  
It’s really perfect  
  
All the things a girl should know  
  
All the things she can’t control](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RPV8c3Q4D8U)_

 

The more we spend time together, the more we learn about each other. Most of the time, we talk cuddling in the bed. She told me that she has no family left except her grand-mother who raised her, her aunt and her two cousins, twins named Pietro and Wanda.  
  
“What happened to your arm ?”, she asks one day when we’re lying on the bed, her head on my chest, her fingers traveling softly up and down on the scar I have between my shoulder and my left arm.  
  
“It happened when I was in the army. On a mission, I received a piece of shrapnel. It almost ripped my arm of my body, according to the doctors, I was very lucky. That’s ugly, I should put a shirt on.”, I say, still disgusted by that old wound.  
  
“No, don't”, she rises her head and gently kiss the damaged skin. “That’s a part of you, and I wanna see and love every part of you, every scar, every bruise, everything. And believe me, sergeant, I love them all, every single of them, from your beautiful stormy eyes, your gorgeous lips, your calloused hands, your comfortable thighs to your feet.”  
  
She lays back on my chest, when I finally dare to ask what burns my lips since we start our secret relationship.  
  
“What makes that you don’t love Steve anymore ?”  
  
“James, you really want to talk about it right now ?”  
  
“Y/N, it’s been three months now, I think I have the right to know.”  
  
“Yes, you have”, she settles better in my arms, before talking again. “When I first met Steve, everything was amazing, I was on cloud nine, over the moon, everything was perfect, it was the real honeymoon phase, he spent his time taking me outside, bringing me flowers, chocolates, seeing me sing every night. It lasted for almost half of our relation, then he had a promotion. New rank, new responsibilities, less time home. He asked me to marry him before going on a dangerous mission, I was still so in love, so I said yes, I quickly become disenchanted. He was barely home, and we had to plan the wedding on years, the most he left, the most I felt alone, and I started to love him less and less.”  
  
“But a part of you still love him, that’s why you didn’t leave him.”  
  
“That’s not that. A part of me will still love Steve, yes, but not as I used to loved him, not as I love you”, at her words, I put a kiss on the crown of her head, before she continues. “Remember when I told you for the death of my parents,” I nod, “I felt abandoned, insecure and lonely, that’s why I never left Steve, because I didn’t want to feel all of that again, and when I met him, I thought it would make me feel as an entire person, so I stayed, I still felt lonely and abandoned, but I felt safe at least for a while, then, it became a habit, I didn’t leave because I had nowhere to go, nobody who loved me as he does, I didn't want to be left in the corner he picked me, maybe the fact of just feeling adored was enough at that moment.”  
  
“And what do you feel with me ?”, I ask her, curious to know.  
  
She rises on an elbow and looks deeply into my eyes with her Y/E/C iris, “With you I feel safe, loved and certainly not lonely. You complete me James”, she takes my hand in hers, palm against palm, lacing her fingers with mine, something we always do when we make love. “Do you remember that song I sang the night Steve introduced us, I Don’t Know If I Should Stay, I wrote it in the subway, just after I left you. I barely knew you, we were perfect strangers who just had what should have been a one time thing, but I was already feeling torn about what I felt for Steve and what you made me feel in barely a few hours. I thought I would never see you again, and I was ready to spend my life with a man I don’t love anymore, because I wasn’t seeing any other way for me, I thought that was my destiny to spend the rest of my life with Steve instead of with that amazing and charming man I met the very afternoon, with whom I did something I’d never done before, at the beginning I just wanted to feel something again, feel something I don’t have anymore with Steve, that’s why I practically threw myself on you when you invited me for a drink. And when I saw you that night, I didn’t know what to do, that’s why I ran away as fast as I could. The man which was supposed to be my last one stand was in front of me and moreover, he was my fiancé’s best friend. I panicked. I felt abandoned, lonely and insecure, till I found you.”  
  
“We will have to tell him at some point, doll, you know that. I can do it with you if you want me to.”  
  
“Of course I know, but the few times, he came back until now, he barely stays more than a few hours that he spends in the army office and I don’t want to tell him by the phone. I promise you babe, I’m going to do this as soon as he has a few times to sit down. That’s something I have to deal with by myself.”  
  
Another evening at 'The Bar With No Name’, few other songs. This time, happier songs, songs about us, like she’s singing to the whole world that I belong to her, that she belongs to me, and that we’re madly in love, but obviously, I’m the only one who knows that. Y/N wrote another song and that’s the first time she’s playing it for the first time before her break. She’s in the middle of the stage, her guitar around her, looking like an angel in the light of the spots. It’s when I hear the first words that I realize that she’s talking about us.

  
  
_[I better be careful  
  
Cause the way you’re looking at me  
  
Looks a lot like love love  
  
Kiss me with your eyes  
  
And hold me in your thoughts all nights  
  
Locks in like a picture were frozen  
  
Suspend the hand of time for a moment  
  
If I could just trust what I see is right  
  
I’d spy hearts in your eyes  
  
Looks like love but I can’t tell  
  
Sound so loud can’t hear  
  
Feels like fire under my skin  
  
Can’t let it out can’t let it in  
  
Taste like everything I want  
  
What if it is what if it’s not  
  
I almost wish it didn’t but it does  
  
It looks like  
  
It looks a lot like love](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZogPo-A6kLE)  
_

 

After that, I join her in her trailer, usually for a make out session before she goes back on stage.  
  
“Did you like the song ?”, she asks her lips red and swollen.  
  
“Are you kidding me, I fucking loved it.”  
  
“I have another surprise for you when I go back there, which is, in a few minutes, so you better go.”  
  
“I love you”, I say pecking her lips before leaving.  
  
“I love you too.”  
  
When I go back to my stool at the bar, Clint sends me a knowing look and then a wink. I’m starting to believe that he knows, but he’s a quiet person, I don’t think he’s going to tell anyone at least I hope so. She steps back on stage and sings the new words of the song she chose for me as a surprise.

  
  
_[You make it look like it’s magic  
  
'Cause I see nobody, nobody but you  
  
I’m never confused  
  
Hey, hey  
  
I’m so used to being used  
  
So I love when you call unexpected  
  
'Cause I hate when the moment’s expected  
  
So I'ma care for you, you, you  
  
I'ma care for you, you, you, you  
  
'Cause boy you’re perfect  
  
You’re always worth it  
  
And you deserve it  
  
The way you work it  
  
'Cause boy you earned it boy you earned it](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LK9oQVBaL-o)_

 

I feel a smirk growing on my face, that girl is going to be the death of me.

  
Steve still doesn’t show up, he’s gone for six months now, just passing by from time to time and only for a few hours or a day, but even this little time is enough to make me jealous, and we still don’t know when he’ll really be back. As usual, I go with Y/N at 'The Bar With No Name’. She planed a special night at the demand of her boss, Tony, love songs, but the kind of love songs relating to never ending love. When the words of one of the song escape her mouth, I know that she’s talking to me, asking with the words from the song.

  
  
[He’s my sun, he makes me shine like diamonds  
  
Will you still love me  
  
When I’m no longer young and beautiful  
  
Will you still love me  
  
When I’ve got nothing but my aching soul ?  
  
I know you will  
  
I know you will  
  
I know that you will  
  
Will you still love me when I’m no longer beautiful ?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZtSJu6OHe_U)

 

She’s looking right in my eyes when she asks it and I mouth a silent 'I do’ making her smile wider. When I hear the first notes, and lyrics of the next song, I know she’s talking about us, she chose that song for us, and it’s like we are the only ones here, the world doesn’t exist outside of our bubble, nothing else but me and her, and what we feel for each other. Our perfect world inside of which Steve doesn’t exist.

  
  
_[If I could just die in your arms,  
  
I wouldn’t mind  
  
Cause every time you touch me I just  
  
Die in your arms  
  
Oh it feels so right  
  
So baby, baby please don’t stop](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DeWW8e2gOXY)  
_

 

Her eyes are glued to mine, never living them, I don’t even notice that Clint puts a drink behind me. It’s the last song of the evening, after that, we’re going home and I’ll be able to show her over and over again how much I love her. When she finishes, claps ring inside the whole cabaret, and suddenly from the shadows next to me, louder claps are heard. I turn around and Steve is here, unexpectedly here, stepping out of the dark, a huge smile on his lips. My body tenses when I feel his hand crashing on my shoulder and I swallow the thick lump in my throat.  
  
“Hey pal, what are you doing here ?”, he demands, hugging me, seeming to not notice the tension that wash over me.  
  
“Came to enjoy a beer, and listen to my favorite singer. Not much as you can see.”  
  
I hear light steps behind me and I already know that it’s Y/N, just behind us.  
  
“Steve ?”, she seems as surprise as I am.  
  
“Hey baby”, he says turning to her, to take her in his arms. I see her stiffen and her eyes searching for me, asking silently what to do. “I missed you so bad”, he adds, kissing her lips. “Are you okay sweetheart ? You seem a little pale.”  
  
“I’m… I’m alright. I’m just surprise, that’s all.”  
  
“Let’s go home, I want to enjoy a little time with my beautiful future wife for my two weeks of permission.”  
  
“Two weeks ?!”, I have the impression that she’s going to faint when she hears the time that Steve is staying around.  
  
“Yes, we would be able to discuss the last things for the wedding.”, he takes her hand in his and walks towards the backstage. “Let’s grab your things and go home. See ya Buck.”  
  
“See ya”, I answer not really knowing how to react looking at her being taken away from me.  
  
Dragged by Steve, Y/N turns her head to me and mouth me an 'I love you’ to which I have to time to mouth 'me too’ before it becomes too suspect.  
  
Steve is here for a week now, and I barely have news of Y/N. He’s almost all the time glued to her, taking her almost everywhere he goes. I miss her and everything that makes me crazily in love with her.

There's less than three months to the wedding, and she still couldn’t tell him, even being here, Steve works all the time, but she can’t sneak out of her apartment to come here without making it suspect. Even without seeing her, each day passing, I’m more and more in love with her, I have her under my skin, in my blood, in my head, in my heart.  
  
  
That’s the second week Steve is back home. It’s the early morning and my phone rings.  
  
“Hello.”  
  
“Babe, that’s me.”  
  
“Y/N, doll, finally. I miss you my love.”  
  
“I miss you too”, I hear her voice trembling in the phone. “I… I need to see you.”  
  
“I need to see you too. But, what about Steve ?”  
  
“He told me that he was going to be busy all day long. Bucky, it’s an emergency, I have to see you right now”, she seems panicked.  
  
“In how long can you be here.”  
  
“I’m leaving now.”  
  
She hangs up and no even an hour later, she’s at my door. I barely have the time to open it, that she throws herself into my arms and starts to cry. I hold her tight against me and run my hand through her hair, trying to calm her.  
  
“What’s happening ? Tell me, doll.”  
  
“I think… I think we should both sit down”, she says between her sobs.  
  
She sits on the couch, and before joining her, I pour her a glass of water and put it between her hands. She stares at the edge of the glass and doesn’t speak a word.  
  
“Y/N, doll, if something happened, you have to tell me”, I take her free hand in mine, and as usual, she laces her fingers with mine, joining our palms.  
  
She stops staring the glass, puts it on the coffee table, rises her Y/E/C gaze to me and stares into my eyes.  
  
“I’m pregnant James.”  
  
I look at her with round eyes. This time it’s really over, she’s expecting Steve’s baby. The love of my life is going to marry my best friend and have a blond, blue-eyed kid.  
  
“So this is it, it’s over, that’s the last time we see each other, you’re going to go back to Steve, that’s why you wanted to come here that quickly. You’re going to have his baby and pretend to be happy. Did you tell him ? About us, I don’t think so, but about the baby ? If you didn’t I assume that you’re going to tell him tonight, when he comes back home. I wish you all the happiness in the world”, I say aggressively, bitter and disappointed.  
  
“Bucky !”, she yells, looking at me in shock. “I never said that that baby was Steve’s. Steve is never home, and he hardly touched me in a year. The first time I slept with you, he hadn’t touched me for three months. And those last times, he didn’t touch me at all, he didn’t touch me since I met you.”  
  
“Are you saying that that baby is mine ?”  
  
“Yes, you stupid idiot, it’s yours. And believe me James Buchanan Barnes, I don’t want that baby to be someone else's”, I lay my forehead against her, a big smile crossing my face.  
  
“How could it happen, we always use protections.”  
  
“Even with protection it can happen, maybe the condom snapped.”  
  
“Do you know how long ?”  
  
“Three months, I went at a doctor appointment yesterday, and he told me, so it’s definitely yours, it was conceived when Steve didn’t come back at all.”  
  
“What are you going to do about Steve ?”, I demand.  
  
“Tell him that we are done. Tell him that it’s over. I’m going to try to explain him.”  
  
“Are you going to tell him about me ? About the baby ?”  
  
“I will, I’m gonna try at least.”  
  
“It’ll be difficult for him, he’s my best friend, I wasn’t supposed to steal his fiancée or have a baby with her. When it’s all over, you come back here, and we’ll raise this baby together”, I add, putting my free hand on her stomach, and she finally smiles.  
  
We stay in that position for a while, silence wrapping us in a quiet bubble. Then she finally asks.  
  
“Do you think that we can do this ? Have that baby, rising it together, be happy ?”  
  
“I know we can. I’m really sure that we can. I’ve spent my life doing the worst things you can imagine after the army dismissed me, I was in vicious circle, I took drugs, my girlfriend died because of that, when I come back, everyone has moved on, I was the only one who didn’t. I was lost, left behind and miserable, doll, till I found you.”  
  
“We were both lost till we found each other”, she softly sighs.  
  
“You look exhausted. We should take a nap and I’ll bring you back there for you to tell Steve, grab some stuff, and we come back here.”  
  
I carry her to the bedroom, and she lies into my arms, both our hands on her belly, my right arm around her shoulder, pulling her closer as I can, her heart beating in sync with mine, when she falls asleep. I sigh, soon we’re going to be three.  
  
I don’t know who much time passed, but I’m awakened by the sound of the slamming door.  
  
“Buck !”  
  
Fuck, Steve ! How could I be that stupid and forgot to lock the door. I hear his steps in the apartment.  
  
“Where are you pal ? I have something to tell you and a good one. Apparently, Y/N cheats on me, with you. Have you ever heard something so stupid, people are ready to make up any stories to get noticed.”  
  
I don’t even have the time to move, at the same moment, he is in the bedroom door frame, staring at his fiancée tightly wrapped into my arms, in my bed. He is livid.  
  
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me ?!”, are the only words he can pronounce, making Y/N awaking and staring at him as if he was a stranger.  
  
“Steve, let me explain this to you”, I manage to say, helping Y/N to stand up from the bed, never letting her leave my hold.  
  
“How long ?”, Steve asks.  
  
“Steve please, calm down, please sit, and we can dis…”  
  
“How long ?!”, he screams, cutting me.  
  
“Steve please”, she tries.  
  
“I’m not talking to you !”, he yells, pointing her.  
  
“Don’t yell at her, please”, I say pulling Y/N closer to my body.  
  
“How long, Buck, I’m not going to ask another time.”  
  
“The day you introduced us to each other. Almost six months ago.”  
  
“When I passed out on the seat ?”  
  
“No, during the afternoon, we met at the bridal shop”, she confesses, answering him faster than me. “I was fitting my dress, and he was there for a suit. We were not supposed to meet again after that.”  
  
“So you’re trying your wedding dress, you met a handsome guy and the next hour, you’re fucking with him, when you’re supposed to marry me. How am I suppose to take it, Y/N, tell me.”  
  
“I… I don’t know.”  
  
“Why ?”, he looks deeply into her eyes.  
  
“Because I was alone, abandoned and lonely Steve. From the moment we got engaged, you were always away, when you were home, you hardly spent time with me, you were always at the army office. My feelings went away and if I stayed, it was only because I had nowhere else to go, I didn’t want to be put in a corner all over again.”  
  
“Did you ever loved me ?”, he asks, tears forming in his eyes.  
  
“I did Steven, I promised you that I did, but not anymore, I’m sorry”, she answers him.  
  
“How did you…”, I demand.  
  
“When she sang those songs, Young and Beautiful and Die In Your Arms. I didn’t want to interrupt the show, she was so beautiful and living what she was singing, from the outside and just walking in, I could believe that she was thinking of me, saying all those beautiful words, so I didn’t step into the light of the club, but I saw it”, he spits. “I saw the way she was looking at you while singing those words, she hardly blinked, and she didn’t close her eyes like she uses to, and the way you were looking at her, she never looked at me that way, those words that she’s supposed to sing to me she was singing them to you, and I know that you never looked as any girl like this too, not even Natasha. And there were rumors inside the club. The fact that you were always there and disappeared in her trailer each time she had a break. I have another question”, he adds. “Were you going to tell me someday ?”  
  
“It was planed, I was supposed to tell you today”, she answers.  
  
“Do you love him ?”  
  
“I do, I love him more than I’ve ever loved anyone. And there is something else you need to know”, she takes a breath before letting the big new out and grab tightly my hand. “I’m expecting Bucky’s child.”  
  
Steve’s mouth falls open, he stays silent for a little time, before regaining his composure.  
  
“I’m leaving again at the end of the week, at that moment, you would be able to come and take all your stuff and then you’ll leave the key in the mailbox. And may I have my ring back, please.”  
  
She complies, going away from my embrace, sliding the ring from her finger and putting it in Steve’s hand.  
  
“I’m sorry it ends like this”, she tells him. “But I couldn’t lie to you or to myself anymore. I choose him, I choose Bucky.”  
  
Without a look at us, Steve goes out of the apartment, leaving us together, it hurts to see my oldest friend leaving that way, but we don’t have a choice. I take Y/N back in my arms, silently promising her that everything is going to be alright now.  
  
Four years later  
  
“Daddy, daddy, wake up, wake up”, a little voice make me open my eyes, when a pair of legs starts to jump at the foot of the bed.  
  
“What’s happening baby girl ?”, I ask, opening my eyes to the little face of my three-years-old daughter.  
  
“I want breakfast daddy.”  
  
“And breakfast you will have princess”, I tell her rising from the bed, and catching her twin brother still jumping on the bed, on my way down to the kitchen. “Stop it Will, let mummy sleep a little more, she need it”, I add at the little boy in my hold, turning to the sleeping frame inside the bed before going out.  
  
As I settle Will and Alaïs at the kitchen table, making their bowls of cereals, I think about how we led to this, that quiet life with two kids and another on the way.  
  
As we thought, once the new about Y/N and Steve’s break up and the cancellation of the wedding, everyone blamed us. Not that I say we were not to blame, but, we were not the only one, if Steve had been here, none of that would have happened, or maybe it would have sooner or later, which would have been worse, because I’m convinced that even if I would have met her after they got married, something would have happened between us, because we were meant to be.  
  
When Steve left at the end of the week when he caught us, we went to his apartment to take her stuff. Two months later, I asked her to marry me, and she accepted. A very little and simple wedding, city hall and diner at 'The Bar With No Name’ graciously lent by Tony as a gift. Her grand-mother, her aunt, her cousins, my parents and my sisters thought we were going too fast, saying that six months was a too little time to decide to spend the rest of our lives with each other, that we didn’t know each other enough, but I knew that she was the one, and when we get married surrounded by our families and just learning that we had an unexpected guest. The baby was in fact two, twins, a boy and a girl, we knew it just before the wedding.  
  
I found a job and each night, for the time she was still doing it, with her little belly showing, I was seeing Y/N singing at 'The Bar With No Name’. We never bumped on Steve there, either he was not going anymore, either he was not coming when she was here to avoid us. I bet for the later.  
  
I was there for the during the whole time of the pregnancy, trying to remember what I’ve learned once, growing with three little sisters, going to the delivery lessons, buying everything. When the day came, I had everything right, except the fact that I was forgetting my in labor wife inside the house. I held her hand when she was pushing, giving birth to those little humans we created together. Two beautiful babies with chestnuts hair, blue eyes for our daughter, Y/E/C for our son. When it came to the name, we went for names we found in a book we read : William Franklin and Alaïs Alice Barnes.  
  
Once the kids are over with breakfast, and glued to cartoons, I climb again to the bedroom, carrying a tray with Y/N’s breakfast. I sit on the bed and gently run my fingers through her hair.  
  
“Hello beautiful.”  
  
“Hey handsome”, she replies with a grin.  
  
“How are feeling two of the loves of my life this morning ?”, I ask, putting my hand on her swollen stomach, while giving her a kiss.  
  
“We’re fine, except that your son wouldn’t stop moving all night long”, she says, covering my hand with hers.  
  
“Chase Carter Barnes, are you going to stop annoying your mother”, I whisper my lips against her skin, the baby pushing up in response. “I don’t think he agrees on that, doll, sorry.”  
  
She smiles, since I met her, that’s something I’m never tired of, I would never thought that we were going so far and however, we are. Rising my eyes on her in that bridal shop was the best thing I’ve done in my life. I don’t regret it any second when I see her, sitting there, a third baby growing inside of her, who will come to complete our family, along with the two first bundles of joy we already have. I hear them running in the stairs, before they rush towards the bedroom door, screaming a loud 'mummy’, before they hug their mother, looking at her with the same adoration as mine.  
  
I’ve sent a letter to Steve a few times ago, obviously, without any answer. But I still have hope that someday, I’m going to have news about him, that maybe he has forgiving us and maybe that he wants to meet the kids. We discussed making him Chase’s godfather if he decides to contact us, but for now, I’m just happy with my little family.  
  
I look at my wife and kids cuddling inside the big bed.  
  
“Come with us daddy”, Alaïs’ little voice begs me.  
  
“Please daddy”, now it’s Will who’s complaining. “Mummy is going to sing us a song.”  
  
I comply, and wrap my arm around Y/N’s shoulders. She leans to me and starts humming a song, I recognize Die In Your Arms and everything feels right, all of this feels home, they’re my home. I found her, and she found me, because as I told her once, 'I was lost till I found you’.

**Author's Note:**

> Songs used in the story :
> 
> I Don't Know If I Should Stay - Alexz Johnson  
> Mama Do - Pixie Lott  
> Looks Like Love - Madilyn Bailey  
> Earned It - Madilyn Bailey  
> Young and Beautiful - Madilyn Bailey  
> Die In Your Arms - Madilyn Bailey


End file.
